Unwanted Attention

For years I used to do the books for my boss's father.

I now no longer do them and I feel the need to offload the whole creepy saga about my dealings with his father. I am inspired by Topiary Cow's post about being on the receiving end of unwanted male attention.

When I first started working for my boss it was only for a few hours each week. At the same time his mother worked with us.

My boss's mother is fantastic. Intelligent, interesting and wonderfully sociable human being. Very close to her two adult children, looks after her huge network of friends in the best possible way, never forgets a birthday and organises the most amazing get togethers at Christmas. She was sometimes a bit controlling but there is always good with bad. All in all, I just thought she was terrific.

She no longer works with us as the workload changed and required her to be more computer literate and office savvy and she decided, at the age of almost sixty, she had other things she could focus on. That was about three or so years ago.

During the early years with my boss, his father asked if I could do his bookwork and I said that would be fine. It was only a few hours every three months.

His father ran a practice from home that was to do with treating sports injuries and similar things. I don't want to spell out his exact occupation in case he Googles the word and lands on my blog. But it begins with O and ends with H and, if you want to you can read what it is here.

He had the most irritating way of invading my body space. Either by being touchy feely and leaning over me at the computer whenever I asked a question or resting his hand on my shoulder each time he passed. At first I thought he was just that kind of guy. You know, some people are just more tactile than others.

Once, when at a function being held at my boss's house, I was a bit tipsy (ah what a memory) and the father said to my husband "well, if you can't handle her when you get home I will be glad to take her" to which my husband replied "no thanks, I know she would not like that and neither would I". He wanted to say more, but weighed up the situation and decided it was best to keep the response brief.

Then it started getting worse, everytime he saw me he would squeeze my bottom or try to give me a kiss. And this was in front of either his son or wife as well as when alone. I would tell him to lay off and so would they. It was really uncomfortable.

Now, normally I would tell someone to leave me alone in a fairly aggressive way. But, when you are dealing with someone who is part of your work and social network you have to step very, very carefully to prevent offending or upsetting people. I spoke to my boss about it and he apologised profusely. He even used to tell his father to leave me alone.

One time I went out to the theatre with the family as part of a fund raising event. My husband had to stay home and look after our boy. Anyway, before the show started we were all milling around in the bar area. There were about twenty in the group. At one point I went to the bar to get an orange juice and whilst I was standing there, my boss's father came up behind me and pressed his groin area into my buttocks and asked me what I was having.

I just had to react strongly in that case and told him to fuck off in a very clear manner. He was affronted.

After that, I really dreaded going to do the books. In the early days he would offer to treat me for back pain and that was fine until one day he made a rather salacious comment about my legs and also told me that he noticed I had a crooked front tooth and that if I got it fixed I would be perfect. After that I refused point blank to let him give me free treatment as the thought of him touching me was too stressful to think about - even if it was for free!

Then, about two years ago he and his wife decided to do a long drive around Australia and incorporate some locum work in the trip. They were going to be gone for a whole year and so I would not do his books.

On the few days prior to the trip I did his books with great relief as in the back of my mind I knew it would be ages before having to be there again.

Then, just as I was about to leave he said something really very odd to me.

"Do you know that P(wife) thought that you and I were having an affair", he said in a casual kind of voice.

I was so shocked it took me a couple of long seconds before I answered.

"Well, I do hope you set her straight. I really value her friendship and would be very upset if she thought such a thing of me", I told him.

"Oh, of course, yes, yes. She is fine now", he replied rather jovially.

On the way home I rang my husband. He was annoyed but said that the father was casting a net and seeing if I was interested.

A few days later I told my boss about it.

"I am so sorry Linda. I don't know what to say. But, thinking about it, there was a time not long ago where he had a thing about you and it pissed mum off and she and he argued about it", my boss explained.

It was a bad situation. The whole thing. Incidentally I have only glossed over the entire series of events as I could fill a book on some of the episodes that cropped up. I ended up having to be really hostile to him whenever I went to do work there as I was always on edge. There were times when I would put my hand up and say "don't stand any nearer to me, you are invading my personal space and I hate it".

It put me in a most awkward position. And I was offended that my boss's mother even thought that of me.

Not only that, his father is a complete wanker and an old fart. Honestly, it would be an act of charity if I even thought of doing the deed with him in mind.

When they came back from their trip I had a phone call from him to do the books again.

"I am so sorry, but you will have to get someone else. I am far too busy with work", I informed him. It was a very satisfying moment and I had told my boss of my decision prior to the phone call. He completely understood.

Now when I see the parents, the father is perfectly well behaved.

He was even kind enough to tell me that I had put on weight.

Tosser.

Ciao
LC

Chivalry

Today when I got to work I had to open up everything.

As I was unlocking the padlocked gate a guy came up to speak to me about something he had organised with my boss. It involved a shipping container being delivered and having to be unloaded and he had to wait around until it appeared.

I unlocked the office, turned off the alarm and did all the things that needed doing, one of which included unloading groceries from my car.

At that stage, this nice man offered to help but by then I had finished.

Now, my car is filthy at the moment and I had it parked in the baking hot sun. I am a bit embarrassed actually as it looks very, very dirty and I feel that is a reflection on me, being the driver and all.

After I had been in the office for about half an hour, the guy comes in and asks me if I could get a small bucket of water and a cloth for him as he would like to clean the bird droppings (of which there are a few) from off my car.

"They will leave damage on the paintwork", he informed me.

"Really, that is very kind of you, but you don't have to. In fact, when I bought my car I paid $1500 extra for paint protection in anticipation of my laziness", I said.

But he insisted and I gave him the water and cloth and he cleaned everything off my car.

In return I directed him into the kitchen where he later made himself lunch.

Later on I told my husband about how the nice man cleaned birdy doo from my car.

"It must be just great being a female. I mean, I can tell you now, if it had have been my car there is no way known he would have offered to clean bird crap off it", my husband said.

Ah, yep, it sure is great now and then.

Ciao
LC

900 Posts

This is post number nine hundred.

Fancy that. So much twaddle going on.

Today was a lovely day.

Went into the studio and looked out the door at the lovely blue sky and trees that were whispering when the breeze went through the leaves.
Fiddled around with some funny things I am doing with my son's primary school photos before I put them into a frame.

Almost finished off a painting that has been sitting here for ages. Until today it was just a painting of the sun. It's okay but will end up in a box somewhere soon. But for now, I am happy that I did something with it.

First thing this morning I went for a walk in the hot sun, down the hot streets and enjoyed the silence.

A nice day was had.

How about you?

What did you do?

Ciao

LC

Welcome To Hot Days

I love hot days.

I don't want every day to be hot, so living in a hot country would not be my ideal, but I love getting a hot day in between the not so hot days.

The almost noiseless air on a hot day appeals to me. The heat seems to dull the sound of things while at the same time leaving the sound to hang in the air.

The sound of insects in the evening have the same effect on me as a song from my youth. I hear the cicadas or crickets and am reminded of being small and playing outside in the evening warmth. It makes me feel nostalgic.

Today I went for another swimming lesson. All went well until we had to float on our back and do a frog kick. I did not get it, and I was tired and had twice sniffed water up my nose which bothered me. On top of it all, one of my ears blocked and I also forgot my swimming cap and had my hair plastered to my face every time I put my head out of the water.

On the way home I drove with the windows of the car open and the air conditioner on. I love the hot and cold air mixing together. My Ipod was plugged in and I played one song over a few times. It was Black Eyed Peas with Sergio Mendes singing Mas Que Nada. It was loud and as I turned into the driveway at home my husband later on said to me "was that you coming down the street playing loud music, I thought it was a teenager".

By the time I got home, my wet hair had all but dried into a wonderful big frizz and smelt of chlorine.

Once I had made myself presentable I decided to beat the heat and get some grocery shopping done. Unfortunately the entire local population had decided to do the same thing and I had to park ages away from the store. This meant that I had to then push the wayward trolley back to the car in the stinking heat.

Hot weather to me is for sitting around in, under the shade of a tree in a deck chair. Admiring the blue sky and perhaps reading a book. Drinking a nice cold drink. It is not for pushing a trolley full of food through a sun scorched car park, unloading it and then climbing into a very hot car.

My husband and son hate hot weather. The complain about it. The cooler in the house goes on as soon as the hint of warm wind finds it's way into the rooms. I would not turn it on unless the house were unbearably hot.

I thought it would be nice to go out for a long bike ride and a picnic tomorrow but neither of them would like it because it will be so hot. I could go on my own but, being a bit of a loner, sometimes if I do too much on my own I enjoy it a bit more than I care to confess.

Instead I think I may go for a long walk in the morning, listen to music as I go and enjoy the solitude. Maybe stop off at the local trash and treasure market and see if there is anything to buy. Have a coffee at a nearby cafe.

It doesn't matter what I end up doing, as long as I get to enjoy the warm sunshine as it starts to rise high in the sky and leave a bite on bare skin.

It is like infusing the soul with something quite inexplicable.

And very, very nice.

Ciao
LC

Turned A Corner

About two weeks ago I did this post that had a bit of a moan about some problems I was having.

After that post I implemented a swag of strategies to help me avoid a trip to the Land Of Sad Faces and I can say that I feel I have turned the corner.

It was a big effort. I actually wrote down a list of what I needed to do to put some structure into it.

Writing down things helps me greatly for it is too noisy in my head to filter out the good from the bad. I suppose it is how I am wired.

The two main factors for me in scrabbling out of the hole I had slipped into were exercise and sleep. If these two activities can be kept on track it allows me to manage the ups and downs well enough to stay at ease.

Early nights were the first thing. I hate early nights. By that I mean into bed before 10.30 pm. I don't like to lie in bed waiting for sleep which can be up to an hour and a half. But I made the effort to be in between the covers by 10.00 pm.

The sleeping tablets the doctor prescribed to me were great for a few of the nights, but I figured I had to retrain my brain rather than depending on medication. Sleeping tablets have a reputation for being a bit addictive.

I increased my exercise regime as much as I could without wearing myself out. Not running, but walking more.

I made a list of all the things I wanted to do but had not. Just small things. Then ticked them off as I forced myself to do them.


I have a theory about my mind. It wants to go down a path of old thinking patterns and will naturally slip back there when my life is not in balance physically and mentally. So I have to make it focus on other things. Whether that be mowing the lawn, pulling out weeds or reading books. By keeping my mind focused it seems to get back on track.

I was so close to going back on medication for depression but for me there are aspects to them that I dislike. They flatline my mind to the point where I feel like I am inside a glass jar looking out but not connecting. I would rather struggle day by day than have that sensation of disengagement with my surroundings.

There were a couple of times when I picked up my mobile phone during the day and said to my husband "I am really struggling here" and he said it was okay and we talked about it. I never do that as a rule so he knew I was working hard at it and I owe him a big thank you for just being there.

I also want to say a big thank you for everyone who left an encouraging comment for me on my post. It does make a difference. Despite the silly things I post on my blog, I am not a particularly open person when it comes to articulating what turmoil I may be going through at a given time. I may talk about it later when I have worked it all out, but not at the time. If I say to my husband, or anyone for that matter, that I have a problem you can bet I have been trying to work through it for a long time leading up to the confession.

Sometimes just acknowledging is part of the getting through it.

So this week I felt happy more often. That small thrill of joy that fills my chest when I look at the blue sky or hear music.

The anxiety is still around but not so constant. The bouts of feeling emotionally inert are not as prevalent.

With that in mind I think I can confidentially say I am back on a kind of steady path, steady enough to feel more settled and able to cope with day to day things.

And, my handbag is tidy.

Which is strangely important to me.

So, there you go.

A good thing.

Ciao
LC

Days Off

I recently had five days off work.

Friday was taken off to go to the hairdressers. Then along came the weekend and because we had a public holiday on the Tuesday it was a given that everyone would take the Monday off and allow a long weekend.

The public holiday was in celebration of the Melbourne Cup - a horse race, of all things.

Australia is a country of long weekends.

It is the first time in ages that I have had five lovely days off in a row and I enjoyed every second of them. Well, except for those last couple of hours right at the end when you realise the work is coming up the next day.

I cleaned the house, a heavy duty clean which involved having to pull an accumulation of hair out from the plug hole in the shower.

I have to say, it is all well and good to use "mung bean" and "eco friendly" bathroom cleaners but if you had a look at what the inside of the drain looked like after months of shampoo and hair going down there you would not hesitate to tip heavy duty bleach down there once a week. Stinky, slimy and foul. No amount of baking soda and lemon juice is going to keep that bug free.

Moved furniture as I vacuumed. Dusted high and low. Brushed away some cobwebs.

Did some gardening. Pulled weeds out from the soft, warm and damp earth. Dug over the soil in preparation for some planting. We had heavy rain one night followed by a warm day which make gardening easier because the soil is lets the weeds go a bit more willingly.

Went to the shopping centre and meandered around for a couple of hours then came home.

I made time to do some things in the studio.

I even emptied out my handbag. This is a job I normally do weekly but as I have been in a rather inert frame of mind I had let it go for at least three months. It was jam packed with rubbish, receipts, tissues, pens, notebooks and change rattling around the bottom.

The huge excitement of the weekend was the end of the road for my trusty hair dryer. As I turned it on it belched smoke at me. I had to go and buy a lovely new one. Along with some very luscious shampoo.

All I can say is that it was lucky it did not expire today, on a work day or I would have had to have had six days off!

Even though having Tuesday off to celebrate a horse race is perfectly acceptable.

Taking another day off because there was no hairdryer in the house would not pass muster.

Ciao
LC

Girls Only?

Tonight I went to exercise class.

There were six girls and the personal trainer. We were sitting on the fit balls getting ready for the class when the personal trainer suddenly had something very important to say.

"Oh, oh, Linda, I was reading the paper on the weekend and I came across an article that reminded me of you", she told me.

"Really? I am intrigued", I said.

"Well, there I was reading away and I saw a small article about a car that you can get in Japan. The interior is designed to absorb all smells and bad odours from inside of the car. I thought of you straight away", she went on.

There was a round of hysterical laughter from the girls.

"Gee, thanks for thinking of me. I have to say though, you would not want to buy that car second hand now would you", I responded.

"Especially if you were the previous owner", one of the girls added in and more silly laughter followed (mine included).

I am not sure whether to be offended or not.

I went home and relayed the episode to my husband.

His response was not one of shared amusement.

"Are you telling me that you tell people you farted in your car? Do you talk like that if a guy is in the class?" he asked me in a semi shocked way.

"Well, yeah. Is that bad? It's not like I actually do the deed in front of anyone. I just happened to admit I did it in the car once or twice. It was a JOKE okay," I answered (feeling like I may have behaved in a rather unladylike manner).

"No, no, well, I am just surprised that you would talk like that in front of a guy," he said.

"I have no shame," I answered back.

Just as well he does not read my blog.

The online confessional.

Read by people who have never actually met me.

And not just gals.

Ciao
LC